Sunday, May 21, 2006

Michael Casseli, editor of Bluff magazine and I-Gaming Review remained under
care at the psychological ward of the Montreal General Hospital after being
apprehended at the ACME Velcro Co. in Montreal for trespassing and minor
property damage. "The damage was minimal," said a spokesperson from Acme.
"It turns out the guy had broken in and was trying to modify a pair of
Velcro boots. These are the type used for racing competitions." But it was a
bit more complicated than that. According the RCMP, a call was received from
ACME's security department that they had apprehended the suspect at around
two AM. Caselli had broken through an alley way window, and was causing
damage to company property. An officer described the bizarre and
embarrassing scene.

"He found where the company had stored the boots for Velcro drag racing. He
had wrapped duct tape around one pair and had written on the tape in big
bold letters MIKEY'S BOOTS. The suspect then began to shave off the plastic
hooks located on the soles with a Swiss Army knife."

A company employee discovered Caselli in the act, Tami Smith who said, " He
didn't see me at first. He was giggling and repeating over and over "Must
beat Bailey, must beat Bailey." When he saw me, he dropped the knife and
screamed like a girl. He got up to run, but I tackled him. I was surprised
he went down so easy since I only weigh 115 pounds. He didn't put up much of
a fight."

According to witnesses, he began screaming, "Don't you know who I am?" which
puzzled them - they had no idea who he was. Mental Health officials were
called in at that time.

"I'm afraid Mr. Casselli suffers from what we call hyper-delusional
fixations," explained Dr. Frankenfurter, MGH's ward supervisor. "He is
fixated with the webmaster of Casinomeister.com, a certain Bryan Bailey, and
Caselli simply snapped."

This may be the case. Several days ago, Caselli's Lyceum Publishing
distributed a bizarre press release claiming that Bryan Bailey had an
unfortunate accident that involved Velcro and sheep. Bailey was contacted
and stated, "Yes, that was an odd press release. The funny thing is, when I
was supposedly chasing sheep I was actually sponsoring a picnic for the
local orphanage. We were barbequing, and I was teaching orphans how to play
American softball. In fact, Casinomeister has always been generous. We
donated a decent sum of money for the charity drive at GIGSE. I don't see
Caselli doing that."

And while this may be true, we spoke with one of Caselli's office workers
who wished to remain anonymous. She said, "He hasn't been the same since he
accepted Bailey's challenge. He stares off into space and mumbles a lot. I
think it's really sad."